Appreciation

I am not the person that would easily admit defeat, even if it was staring me in the face. There was a time when I could feel myself slipping into old habits, when I could feel all that I had slipping away and I could see myself deteriorate as though I was looking at someone else. I still would not admit defeat. I would rather, and would even find it easier; to convince myself there was no problem.

Whatever had happened I was never planning to admit defeat, but it was only because of one person that I didn't have to. She stepped into the hell I had created for myself, walked through the fire and dragged me out of it. She did something that not even I could do. She saved me from myself.

Even now I don’t know how she did it, but she did. She was always there when I lost faith, and was always there to make sure that I got it back again.

I can’t name her; it would be too complicated because “she” isn’t just one person. Each time things have gone wrong, and each time I have slipped back into old habits, she has always been there. Each time is was a different person, each time someone new has stepped in and did something that I never could. I appreciate everything that each of these people have done, and will never forget it. 

He Left Her Alone

He left her alone

Like a good loyal soldier

“I’ll be back from the war”

At least that’s what he told her

He knew the enemy

He knew them well

Because all they wanted

Was to send him to hell

He walked down the beaches

With his gun in his hand

Avoiding the shadows

Made from blood in the sand

He wrote letters home

To his beautiful wife

Bringing back memories

Of his civilian life

She’s watching the news

While she’s sitting at home

In a room full of people

She feels so alone

He thinks of his wife

And the lives they will lead

As he charges the beach

Towards his brothers in need

Hit by a bullet

He falls to the ground

He feels no more feelings

He hears no more sound

She stirs in her sleep

She knows something’s wrong

She feels the cold silence

Like the end of a song

His comrades come quickly

As brothers in arms

They keep their heads down

They try to keep calm

He lies on the table

With blood covered hands

His war is now over

Now his blood stains the sand

He takes his last breath

As the angels embrace

She stands at her window

As tears wet her face

Broken

The worlds has got

Some broken bones

Listen hard

You hear it groan

Mother Nature

Sold her soul

To keep the balance

The world as a whole

Stalking the Streets

Stalking the streets

Looking for prey

Creeping around

With nothing to say

Leave no living

Hunting packs

Silent and swift

Don’t turn your backs

Vicious attacks

Where anything goes

Covert and quick

Yet everyone knows

All this evil

Seen by the world

Humanity is beaten

Tangled and twirled

In all the darkness

Light has to thrive

Love is still living

Breathing -- alive

The evil inside

Churns up their life

So much pain

Like a twisted knife

The heart keeps on

Love still survives

Hearts not yet cold

Emotions alive

Taking a life

Is the ultimate theft

You’ve taken it all

There’s nothing left

And then you write home

It’s just your duty

Serving your country

A dead inner beauty

Love must be blind

Or it would hide its face

Scared and ashamed

Of the human race

Catch Me If You Can

In Frank Abagnale Senior’s (Christopher Walken) speech in “Catch me if you can” he says “Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out. Gentlemen, as of this moment, I am that second mouse.”

 

Now that most of us have our results and futures are about to be or already have been determined -- which mouse are you?

A Critics Job

Joseph Addison said that “a true critic ought to dwell rather upon excellencies than imperfections”

Isn’t that critics job? Don’t they point out the imperfections what we may now have seen, so we can turn those imperfection into excellencies?. The way I see it is that a critic sees the imperfections so that everyone else gets to see the excellencies.

Leave a comment with what you think.

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

At times, we all feel like things are going wrong, that we have made the wrong choices, made a mistake and done the wrong thing at the wrong time. Its this time when we need to hold onto whatever hope we have left, but its also the time when hope seems to be the one thing we haven't got. When it looks like everything is going wrong and there's nothing we can do about it, all we can do is have faith in ourselves and hope for the future. 

After having a chat with Vicky (http://vixensa.blogspot.com/) I thought, do we need to look for the light at the end of the tunnel, or do we need to find the tunnel with light at the end?

A Walk Through the Valley

As I walk through the valley

Of the shadow of death

I can feel the fear

I can see my breath

The ice is thin

Beneath my feet

A lonely walk

To my final defeat

I can see myself

Beneath the ice

One foot wrong

And I’ll pay the price

As I walk

Beneath my feet

Is a different me

The pacing beast

I see myself

Pace up and down

With a broken wing

And a dented crown

If the ice would break

And I fell to the beast

My soul would be open

Free for the feast

What is a leap of faith?

A leap of faith is when you stand on the edge, with your feet hanging over and your heart pounding as the fear sets in.  It’s when you know that you should jump, that you should throw your arms out and let gravity do the rest and that this is the opportunity you have been waiting for. It’s when all you want to do it jump but the fear holds you back, the fear that there is nothing there to catch you. A true leap of faith is when, after considering that there might not be anything there to catch you or that there is something worse waiting at the bottom, you jump anyway.

Take the risk. Take the leap of faith. After the leap, there is always the faith, and the fun is in the freefall. 

To write is to Live Forever

Joseph Stalin said that “The writer is the engineer of the human soul”. A writer doesn’t just make you see things but they can make you feel them too.

The difference between a writer and a good writer is that writers can interpret feelings; they can make you see what they feel in the words that they write. However, a good writer can create feeling, they can make you understand things and feel whatever way they want you to feel.

A writer can interpret what seems to be reality; a good writer can create one.

Letting Go

I read a lot of quotes but I only really remember a few. One of the ones I always remember is “If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”

This kind of ideology isn’t restricted to just love, it’s about life. Sometimes we have to let go of things, sometimes we have to let people go, and that is where the pain will start. When we let someone go, when you let them leave your life and you see them happier than they ever were with you around, all it can do is hurt. This kind of pain is hard to deal with, it’s close to the pain we feel when we see the one we love, love someone else. It’s the kind of pain that can only be eased and comforted by knowing that this person is now happier because you let them go.

I think that if it seems like people are trying to change or trying to move on, let them. If they are meant to stick around, if they are worth the effort, even with the opportunity to leave, they won’t. If you always give people the freedom to leave you, but hope that they won’t, then those that stick around are those that deserve for you to stay.

Havelock Ellis said that “All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on”.

If you dont make mistakes, You dont make anything

Oscar Wilde said that “Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.” I used to think that our biggest mistakes were the ones that we were still living with, in some ways it was as though if the mistakes were forgotten or not even cared about anymore, then they weren't significant to begin with.

The truth is that everyone makes mistakes, and if you think that you haven't, that you didn't take any risks to make any mistakes, then that was your biggest mistake right there. Is it a sign of change when you start to question your old mentality? Is it true that unless you physically or mentally reminded of a mistake, then its not significant enough? It might be, but I honestly don't know. I thought I knew exactly what my biggest mistakes are, I thought I could look back and point out what they were and when they happened. Now I realise that all the mistakes you remember are that are significant, whether I regret them or not -- I am still paying for them.


Some say the best way to predict the future is to look at the past. If that's right then things look pretty bleak. Dandridge M. Cole said that "We cannot predict the future, but we can invent it." -- That will do for me.

The King and His Demon

The empire was calm
When the young prince was born
When the angels fell silent
For an oath to be sworn

Now the angels would watch
Until the prince became king
Keeping him safe
From the tune the Devil sings

He grew as a child
Into the king he would be
But for now he’s a boy
With mud on his knees

The angels did nothing
For they hadn’t known
About the evil inside him
That with him had grown

For when the king died
And the evil released
The prince was now king
The king and the beast

He lived with this demon
Lurking within
A part of the King
But so different from him

His empire was falling
He was losing control
The power of the demon
Had taken its toll

With a smile on his face
He faked a new power
And his soul was left open
For the demon to devour

He has the grace of a god
To those that have seen him
Yet strikes fear in their hearts
With the glare of a demon

His empire is guarded
And no one gets in
For his soul is too heavy
Dragged down by his sin

One day this King
Took off his armour
Threw down his sword
To a vicious charmer

He let her in
And ignored his past
Looked at the future
Happy at last

The illusion kept going
But his armour was rusty
He was left in the open
And his sword was now dusty

With a swipe at his heart
His queen left him broken
Left him to suffer
Now the demon has woken

The demon ruled the empire
As the king was left beaten
He was left for dead
And his heart kept on beating

He had the grace of a god
To those that had seen him
With an ache in his heart
Now ruled by the demon

by Tom Roff

When Life Gives You Lemons

Ive been thinking about a conversation I had with someone a few days ago about their general outlook on life, now it seems that the best life philosophy is "If life gives you lemons, ask for a lime, that'll get them in a right muckin fuddle". Seems to me that this is a good outlook on life, a simple way to keep your sanity intact.

Take a Leap of Faith

The Great Leap of Faith

It's yours, take it,
Leap like a lunatic
Over the chasm below
Erupting as you go
Your true self awaits you
NOW you will know
by Jane Evershed

With no imagination, All we have is reality

This is a long voice-over speech for a character that started to doubt his own reality and found that what he saw as reality was just an illusion created by him. It was inspired by two quotes: “I reject your reality and substitute it for my own.” (Adam Savage) and “Reality is merely an illusion, although a very persistent one” (Albert Einstein) 

"Humans. Look at them all running around chasing their so called dream but slowing down whenever they get close. It’s a shame they don't see it themselves. They are, and probably always will be, only animals fuelled by their ego and driven by their economy. The so called superior species. Superior species with their superior weaknesses. If people listened to Karl Marx like they did to that Jesus fella then all problems would have been eradicated. It’s a shame there's so many of them out there full of opinions and complaining about their problems. The only problem I have - is that I'm one of them”

The Addict and his Demon

Anger isn't just what you feel when something annoys you, when you or someone else does something you don't like, that's just a natural reaction, its a human reaction. Real anger, true anger is like a demon, something that turns us into primal animals again. For four years anger has been a big part of my life, it was part of my personality and in some ways it was my biggest problem and my biggest comfort. Just like you would expect from a demon, it drags you through hell, it steps in and takes over, it makes your heart beat faster than it ever normally should and gives you an adrenaline rush that make you feel sick, and most of all, it makes it feel good. There is no natural euphoria that can compare to a full blown rage. In a way, its like the devils greatest trick, it convinces you that its not a problem by making it feel good. How can something that feels so good be such a big problem? Once it has dragged you through it all, it leaves you to deal with the consequences, it knocks your whole world around and leaves you to watch it fall.   

Love?

"If I gave you the gift of love, that gift would be nothing short of an angel, and like any angel it may not feel like its there when you want it, but it will always be there when you need it"  Tom Roff

Faith?

Faith is like a flame, it can flicker and drift, and even die out, but nothing can kill it forever, you just need the right spark. Faith, in its simplest form is daring your soul to go further than it can see. Good luck with that.